#but also. I feel like the sound at The Eastern just wasn't as good idk. I wore earplugs in Philly and could hear fine but here I felt like

[katamarei]

back from the concert. SOOOO much fun. but the show in Philadelphia was a million times better sorry Atlanta

[becauseplot]

Hohh wednesdays are busy for me so that + brainfog tuesday + physics hell = lots of Things needed to happen yesterday, but im back :D

Ehehehhehe more Factorial fic for me to chew on. Even if I have no idea what's going on I'm sure I'll like it for at least the writing.

Love my gel pens so so so much. Love using them up completely to write. When I was in middle school, I was gifted one of those big ol pen packs of like forty fuckmillion cheap gel pens in every color imaginable, and I burned through them so fast while writing. I kept them all in the bottom of my backpack and the collection grew to the point where I could just pull out a literal fistful of used-up gel pens going like ":D" to weird out my friends.

Oof sorry you're under the weather. Hope you get to feeling better soon :( And yeah goddamn your sister to reiterate I am scared of her but she sounds awesome. I've got an older brother who is also very cool---headstrong guy, which both helps and hurts him lol. He's trying to become a bartender and honestly, it sounds like the perfect job for him. He's very personable and just loves to talk to people and get to know them, and bartending would be the perfect job for someone who just loves to People.

Tbh it wasn't until more recently that I could say that my brother and I are friends. We argued a lot as kids and then for a good number of years he was just...kinda someone who lived in the same house as me. And then. Idk I guess somewhere between me going off to school and both of us individually working/going through some Stuff we finally got to know each other? And he's like, actually my friend now. And last year he made it clear that he truthfully, genuinely cares for me and will be there for me and ueueuueueue 0(-( I've never really had anyone in my corner like that before. Like my parents are great and I love em to bits and I've had some amazing close friends, but there are some things that you cant tell your parents and there are some things your friends cant help you with, ya kno? (URGHH im getting choked up thinking about this /pos thinking of my brother as my friend still feels so surreal to me.)

Also he's a poet! And like a really fucking good poet holy shit. Like I knew he loved songwriting for a while and had performed at slam poetry nights but I didn't realize how good he was until he performed one of his pieces for us at a family function and I was. Floored. We talk about writing and word choice on occasion and most of our texting conversations consist of funny posts we send each other. It's nice.

Ghost child getting a gentle ending this is all I wanted for him <3

Ohhh chaos! There is a lot going on there, really looks like everyone is scattered trying to get a handle on the situation, ohh absolute nightmare. The detail of Pac with the Doctor who is armed is suchhhh a good one. Really illustrates their dire situation, where the person who heals is forced to take up arms. Traditional war says "honor code---don't kill the medics, leave the wounded alone" but this war does not give a shit about any of that. (which happens irl. which makes this feel very, very, very human despite the nature of their circumstances.) (or perhaps it is because of the nature of their circumstances.) (i remember watching a bit of a show abt an alien invasion starting in different locations all over the world, and at some point an American soldier, a man from an invaded middle-eastern town, and the man's family were driving away in a car having escaped the aliens for now, and the American soldier commented to the man about how the man's wife and children in the back seat seemed relatively calm despite Everything that had happened and Everything they had seen because, you know, alien invasion. and the man replied that this is hardly the first time that they've been "invaded" by "aliens". and i think about that a lot.)

Archivists so beloved fr. You're right about Cellbit having to take care of Phil, it's so interesting watching Cellbit have this borderline identity crisis about if he's a "good man" or if he's actually capable of being gentle and using his hands to heal instead of hurt while he's like actively wrapping bandages and helping Phil. and Phil is just sitting there like "awww yeah Cellbit my trustworthy friend my friend whom i trust i put my life in your hands because i trust you yesyes". On the other way around, Phil---always has food on hand, values sleep, health potions up the wazoo when he can get his hands on 'em---taking care of Cellbit---lives primarily off of coffee, sleep is a naught but a distant memory, most likely got a deep-seeded walk-it-off complex from his time in the war---also has potential. late night in the Order Phil looking at Cellbit walking in looking half-dead and Phil asking him if he's alright and wrestling out of Cellbit the fact that Cellbit hasn't eaten yet and hasn't slept in however many fuckin days, Phil staring at him like "damn bitch you live like this?? go to BED man holy shit" Alternatively, Phil sees Cellbit is doing badly but Cellbit brushes it off until Phil mentions he left something in the other room and Cellbit's like "oh i got it" and stands up from the table a little too fast and [WINDOWS SHUTDOWN NOISE]. (<-this has been living in my head for too long i just gotta string some more coherent plot along w it) I'm more silly with them tbh but they live in my head. Cellbit regaining conscious to Phil being like "yeah i think youre done for the night mate" and Cellbit being like "idk what youre talking about im literally awake now i didnt even hit my head" "because i caught you dumbass" "look im good i promise, we can keep going" and Phil giving him a Look "...im messaging Roier" "no, wait--"

Just,,, thinking about pre-purgatory and both of their histories, Cellbit growing up in a warzone and Phil's nebulous "survivalist" background. They both push themselves but Cellbit is terribly self-destructive with it. Phil, having lived a long life, knows better how to pace himself and take the breaks when he can so he can be prepared for when shit really hits the fan, meanwhile Cellbit over here trying to brute force his way through an ongoing crisis, soldier on, fight or die run or die kill or die, it's always the worst case scenario. And Phil looking at him and thinking, "Does he know he doesn't have to give 100% all the damn time? Does he know that's not how you survive a crisis?" Little does Phil know that surviving the crisis is not always part of Cellbit's plans. Idk chewing on them.

The ingredients for an Archivists AU/fic are still on the counter I just gotta get them organized into something coherent and then I can tell you more. But the idea that it'll center around is "Marginal acquaintances forced to work together because reality is being weird and there is Something Going On and no one seems to notice it but them." (Issue: I don't typically write mystery like at all. If I ever write it, it will be Difficult.)

Yeah time with friends! My pre-uni friends are by far my closest ones. I don't rly have anyone that I'm close to here at university (making friends here is. hard. and. still an ongoing process.) so I'm looking forward to spending time w them.

They deserve ALL of the blankets and hot chocolate and X-factor on the couch. The world hurts them enough :(((

Ohhh Duchess sounds interesting :0 by "your NPC" do you mean you played her or you just wrote her or both? Just to be clear lmao im curious.

Really sucks not being able to study archeology bc shit health :( but at least that corpse knowledge is being put to good use.

Tbh I don't ever watch reality TV. Like, ever, I hate it, it's boring. However, during finals week last semester, between study sessions and exams one of my roommates would watch Hell's Kitchen and I'd drop in every now and then and watch some of it with her and we'd laugh at how dramatic it was and how shitty the contestants were to each other and cuss out the assholes. Loads of fun.

God I love hugs too. Absolute horseshit that your health prevents you from getting one >:/ I haven't had a hug from a friend in *googles* 67 days. When I see my friends during spring break I am going to full-body tackle one of them and force them to just lay on the couch w me. Gonna take a nap on them. They won't move bc that would make me sad and they wouldn't want to do that because then I'll revoke their kneecap privileges :>

I know nothing about Pokemon but I trust your process :thumbsup: Man idek what videogames i played as a kid lmao what did i even do? I think i just played Minecraft, Kirby Mass Attack, Mario Kart, and various Mario Bros games on loop. Much much much later I just played Breath of the Wild over and over and over and over. Hence my well-loved but currently abandoned botw au(s).

Adding Eric's Song to the list! Epic. Shooting one back at you: How Far We've Come by Matchbox 20. My personal end-credits song tbh. Makes me insane. I took an Apocalyptic Literature class (ALSO an incredible class with an incredible prof) and it gave me a new appreciation for it.

finished ep 10 of osnf (long post under the cut oh lord)

crying sobbing kicking over chairs screaming CELLBIT IS AN EVIL EVIL MAN WHY WOULD HE DO THAT. FOR WHAT REASON. POR CUAL RAZÓN. LO ODIO. <-said with the utmost adoration and respect of a writer but the fury of a fan who just had to endure all of that my hearttttt 0(-(

god fuck i have thoughts and feelings regarding episode 10 of osnf. obviously. i don't even know how to start.

okay. first of all the way that he was able to orchestrate the like 57839 different POVs of the nightmare happening at the same time was actually pretty smooth, all things considered. being able to forcibly mute/deafen the others is a good thing to be able to do yesyes.

second, im losing my mind over how he hides the fact that "it's all a dream" WITHIN the "it's all a dream" trope by having the creatures be manifestations of dreams/guilt in "reality" themselves. idk if i'm making any sense, but like, you get it, right? like, it's the fact that we thought we had already discovered the dream-based deceit in the segment because of what the "Hotelier" told Joui at the start of it, but it turns out that THAT was a red-herring of sorts for the TRUE dream-based deceit, that EVERYTHING was a dream, not just the creatures. god there are fucking layers to this im foaming at the mouth that's soooo good.

i guess that's what makes the "it's all a dream"-style trope present here feel less cliche. because, you know, it is a trope, and it's not really a trope that i'm fond of, but because there's actually more going on, it feels less cheap. what certainly helps is that the fact that it's roleplay, so the reactions from the characters are so much more raw, and there are some irl stakes (character dead = out of the series = can't play anymore). that definitely keeps you on the edge of your seat.

edit: something i forgot to mention—what i dislike abt the “it’s all a dream” trope the most is that it is very easily something that can be so, so cheap. all angst, no stakes or consequences, no lasting impact on the plot on the characters. however, not only is there a “physical” impact via several characters losing SHITLOADS of sanity (something not easily recovered) but we get to see a little more into the psyche of the characters. which i suppose is often the point of the “it’s all a dream” segments, but this dream—one with a lot of references to past major character death and itself contains major character death—rings especially true for the themes of the series: the world they live in is dangerous, and the work they do is lethal. people have and will die. and they do and will feel guilty, reguardless if they are at fault. it’s not a horrifying death dream just for the sake of being a death dream, it feels grounded in their reality, and i love that.

third, man he did not hold back. when Arthur was being beaten to a pulp by not!Brúlio, i was actually in shock, i was screaming. plus, i think the fact that Cellbit rolled a 001 when not!Brúlio attacked actually helped to hide the fact that this was a dream. it made it look like it was bad luck rather than the segment was designed to kill the characters (well, at least until he revealed that the damage was 1d4+1d6, but i'll get to that later).

gosh the narration of how not!Brúlio killed Arthur. holy shit. i don't. i don't even have words, that is DEVASTATING. that is probably one of the worst ways for a person to go. i know it's a dream but if i were Arthur i would be emotionally fucked up beyond belief. beaten to a bloody pulp by the father who once loved you so much, screaming at you for abandoning him and that it's your fault he died a horrible death. and then he drops your body on the ground like you're nothing but a pile of useless meat. god. damn.

and then Liz. ohhhh Liz. i just. i was devastated. her whole struggle with Alex, the man she treated so horribly. yes it's true the real Alex never would have said these things to you, but how do you know he wasn't thinking it? that he didn't want to? that what not!Alex says doesn't hold some truth? christttt. and of course the way she dies: in complete agony. and did she forgive herself? because, unlike with not!Brúlio, the creature turned into that weird wispy black thing just as she died, and i would assume that means she forgave herself (if those rules even apply considering this was all a result of the parasite's deceit (holy hell my brain is melting i am the man with the hand on the conspiracy board)).

fourth: the 1d4+1d6 thing! when he read that out, i was stunned. that is a LOT of damage considering all of the characters have ~10 HP. with an extreme roll, that's basically an insta-kill, or it's easily a two-hit-kill. i thought Arthur was unlucky, but when Liz also went down, i was---well, devastated, at first, because that's Liz, she's my absolute favorite and i love her, but i started going through all five stages of grief at once, and at some point i arrived at "no that can't be right" because Cellbit is a good writer. and to deliberately construct a scenario where it would be VERY hard for a character to survive while still in the middle of the story? yeah. and yknow the fact that there's still 6 other episodes fhdsjk. (then again the series continues regardless if a character dies and i haven't looked at other episodes' thumbnails or anything like that for this exact reason. so. i was going in as blind as i could reasonably be.)

in any case, realizing and connecting all of this and then hearing the "Hotelier" start yelling at Joui right after Liz died explicitly blaming him for it sealed it for me: this is a trick of some sort. this is a dream sequence of some sort. these aren't real deaths. (a smaller part of me was still scared that they were real because i know that Cellbit does not shy away from killing off his players' characters, if op and opq are anything to go by. but i digress.)

and then the characters turned to black goo. and i just about threw my computer. rip Luba who got absolutely targeted by the GM lmfao.

anyway uhhh that's about it regarding the dream sequence! loving luzidius!joui and how he just keeps switching back and forth. ((and it further supports my little side-theory that the mysterious blond woman last seen with Team Kelvin was a luzidious we win these.)) i was surprised to see Liz thinking it was so cool when she's been so suspicious of everything in Santo Berco since she got here, but i think she could definitely be using it as a distraction from what she just went through, and honestly she's just happy to see Joui is okay. (the way she gave on up words and just hugged him, the way she held his face in her hands, the way she dragged him down the hall to show Thiago and Thiago was just telling her to fuck off (/aff) because he was getting dressed, my heartttt i love these three, mentor-mentee dynamics my fucking beloved)

also new outfits! sweet! istg the new outfits are so Cellbit's way of apologizing for putting his friends through that. "hey sorry i killed your character in the most emotionally devastating way possible it will happen again wOAH LOOK AT THESE NEW CLOTHES AREN'T THEY SO COOL YOU SHOULD TRY THEM ON!!!"

i've been having mixed feelings about the sudden setting/genre change since the group arrived in Santo Berco. i really, really loved the urban horror-fantasy vibe that they had going on in op and the first 8 eps of osnf, but evidently, this is good as well. the genre is most definitely still horror yippee. i definitely miss the urban-modern setting, but i think i can get adjusted to this. (i'm just,,, not the biggest fan of the auto-heal crystals im sorry i had to say it they feel too op i know their use is limited to visiting the doctor but knowing they exist lowers the in-world stakes for me im sorry---)

anyway, ep 10! you beautiful monster! i have been typing for an hour! i need to go eat food! k bye!

[sunshine--writes]

Blood Bound

header image courtesy of one of the biggest Lady Dimitrescus simps i’ve ever met.

This is the first and last time i will ever write anything so be prepared. Also i’m not the best writer so some parts might be very rushed and sloppy sorry. Idk how to post on tumblr either and also i’m on mobile so sorry for weird formatting issues :)

A little background I wrote this as a presentation thing with my friends so it’s not gonna be good. Also this is the first time i’ve ever written smut so sorry i guess?

Warnings: NSFW of course, uh very kinky probably, swears in this warning, f! Reader, reader is a vampire pls let me have this, IT MAKES SENSE FOR THE STORY PLEASE LET ME HAVE THIS, vampires need sleep i guess idk just fuck let me live, fluff at the end bc im a whore for that kinda shit, probably ooc for Lady Dimitrescu but like idk her character other than dom mommy milkers so, blindfolds, binding arms? what is it called??

All of your senses returned to you very slowly. You didn’t know where you were, or why someone had taken you in the middle of the night, but for some reason you felt safe. You could feel the cold damp floor of the cell you could only presume you were in and you could smell rotting flesh and the wet metal that surrounded you. You could hear the dripping noises of falling water coming from somewhere in front of you, and the sound of footsteps slowly approaching. The only sense you never regained was your sight. You could feel the soft fabric that covered your eyes and made a reasonable guess that your host for the evening had blindfolded you.

“Have you awoken my darling?” Ah, speak of the devil. The person that belonged to that sultry voice was one Lady Dimitrescu -- the countess that you have met with several times before and every encounter has somehow ended the same way. You remember the first time you met the 9 foot tall woman. It was 1920, and as the child of a wealthy eastern european count, you were required to attend the galas that were thrown. During one such occasion you happened to run into Lady Dimitrescu, and had unfortunately uncovered her secret. At the first sign of danger a normal person would have run, but who were you to judge? After all, aren't you two essentially the same?

That was the first night, and the begging of a long mutual relationship between the two of you. A whirlwind of passion, anger, misery, and lust was the only way you could describe these past decades you have spent with her. Everytime you left her embrace, you couldn’t help but long to be in it again no matter how angry you were. This on again off again relationship had persisted through generations, and you would be damned if you would give up now. She had introduced you to your friends who had shared the same beliefs, and made you feel welcomed. She had been there during the downfall of your family's power, and she was there for every milestone. You had to admit, your life was tied to this woman if you had liked it or not. Every night you spent apart was agony, and every moment you spent together was bliss. You have eternity, so what's the use in spending anymore time apart?

This night felt different. It wasn't normal for her to seek out your company, so why has she all of a sudden? And since when has she been this gentle? If it was like any other night she would have already had her way with you and thrown you to the side. Tonight was definitely different.

“My dear turn towards me.” She demanded, and you obeyed, crawling your way to the direction you think she might be in. You found her in the corner of what you think is a cell. You could tell she was sitting in a chair so you sat on your knees in front of her.

“Ah, isn’t this better darling? Everything is as it should be.” You could hear the sound of her claws extending -- and then you felt as she dragged the nail across your cheek, across your lips, and down to your chin.

“My love, head up. This way I can see your beautiful face.” She spoke as she lifted your head with her sharp claw. “Ah this beautiful face, the one that has tormented my dreams for far too long. Isn’t this much better?” You nod, what does she mean tormented her dreams? Over these past years you understood that this relationship was not one out of love, so you never gave yourself hope that she might feel the same as you. Even as her words sounded like a declaration of longing, you refused to dream. An intimate relationship with her, even one without love, was enough for you. As long as you could remain at her side for the rest of eternity you would be happy.

She sighed, “No matter, tonight is somewhat of a celebration, and as I am in a good mood I have sought you out. So where shall we start?” You hear the claw retreat back into her hand and her start to stand up, towering over you. “Lets get you out of these clothes hm?” She grabs you by the neck forcing your body down to the ground, cool gloved hands start roaming all over your body, loosening and untying the thin clothes you wore to sleep that night. “Ah beloved, how I had missed this.” Her mouth descended onto your neck where you could feel the warmth of her saliva as she sucked on that tender spot. You whimpered, moving closer into the bigger woman, although this isn't the first time she has marked you like this, it still sends tingles down your spine. Your hands started to roam as Lady Dimitrescu moved her way from your neck to your chin, and finally to your mouth: enveloping you in a deep kiss. Your back arched to be closer to the woman on top, deepening the kiss. You could taste the reminisce of blood and the sweet wine she had been brewing for years. Tonight really was an important celebration. You couldn’t control yourself as both of your bodys moved in tandem, your hands moving down her back.

She pulled away, leaving you gasping for air, “Now now my dear, you know the rules. No touching without permission. Now let's get these hands out of the way hm?” You could feel as the warmth from her body moved away, leaving you semi-naked on the cold floor. You couldn’t tell where she had gone, nor how long she was gone for -- every minute without her felt like agony anyway.

Her footsteps finally came back, “On your knees,” she demanded, and you moved without hesitation. “Both arms behind you.” Again you moved without thinking, obeying every word. You could feel as some soft fabric was slowly wrapped around both of your wrists and then tied, you could guess that it was the same silk as the one around your eyes.

“There, isn't that better darling? Now lay back down, I will loosen you up.” A claw extended and you felt as the rest of your already loose clothes were torn off, including your slick underwear. “Hm?” she laughed, “Already ready for me?”

“Yes mistress.” you nodded, spreading your legs slightly.

“Darling you know I love it when you call me that.” Gloved hands traced their way from your neck, to your breasts, down your stomach, and finally rested on your thighs. “Hm? What should I do darling? Shall we continue?”

“Yes mistress.” You begged, wiggling your body hoping for her hand to end up in that place you wanted it. You begged for her to give you release, begged for the thing you missed the most over these years.

“Hm? Shall I grant you your requests? Maybe you should beg some more first.” Her hands suddenly moved, finding their way back up to your breasts, hands playing with your nipples. You squirmed, wishing that the woman would give you what you wanted.

“Please mistress,” you begged, pushing yourself onto her thigh. Your cries fell on def ears as she continued to play with you. You started grinding on her thigh, pleading with your mistress to take you. “Please Lady Dimitrescu, please help me.”

You felt her hot hands finally leave your chest, “Fine, I shall grant this one request to you my beloved.” Suddenly you felt a gloved finger push its way inside you, forcing itself deeper in, her other hand went back to playing with your breasts. You gasped, moaning as she started moving around slowly inside. You tried to move yourself down onto her hand, allowing sweet relief. Her unoccupied hand made its way up to your neck and she started choking you.

Her tempo picked up as another finger made its way inside. The sounds coming out of you were ungodly, she had you crying out in pleasure. “Do you like that my dear?” she called out from on top of you. You could only nod your head and cry out something akin to the word yes. She was moving even faster and you could feel the pressure inside of you about to explode, you begged your mistress to please release you, but she wouldn’t budge moving faster than she had ever moved before. You were moaning and screaming in pleasure, you silently thanked whoever was up there that you were in a castle otherwise you would probably have a noise complaint by now. Her movements had you writhing around, grasping for anything with your bound hands. You brought your legs and wrapped them around her, opening yourself up for her. You were desperately grinding against her hand, your walls tightening before you could come.

“Eager now aren't we, well my love shall I let you come?” Although you were blindfolded you could see her smirking face. You called out between moans, crying for her to let you. You were begging and pleading, you must have looked so pitiful but in that moment you wished for nothing more than to come undone by this woman's hands.

“Lets see how loud you can be.” You felt your walls close down on the fingers inside of you as you screamed out in pleasure, the pressure finally being released. You could feel your juices coming out as orgasms wracked through your body. The pleasure was too much for you to handle and before you knew it you passed out.

***

You awoke in a very comfortable bed, the feel of the satin sheets under you cooled your body and sent shivers all over. You had realized that both the blindfold and your arm restraints were gone, and your body had been cleaned up from last night's activities. You were wearing a thin nightgown that only accentuated how cold it was in this room. As you looked around you finally saw the face of the sleeping woman next to you. Strange, you had never awoken next to her, no matter how vigorous the previous night's activities were she always left before you woke up. You giggled quietly to yourself, last night must have been a special night indeed. You saw sunlight streaming in from the large windows on the northern wall of this bedroom casting itself onto her. She had never looked more beautiful in your long life. You reached out your hand and started softly stroking the woman's face and hair, careful not to wake her. You traced your way from her forehead down to her lips, pausing there slightly. Last night was different, it wasn't bad, it was in fact very good. It was just something you never thought would happen for the both of you. As you look at the face of sleeping Lady Dimitrescu in front of you, you couldn’t help but wonder what your life would be like if you two had a different kind of relationship. Your thoughts were cut short when you felt two arms snake their way around you and suddenly you were pulled into the woman's arms.

“What are you doing awake so early my little dove? You should rest some more, last night must have been very taxing on your body.” Lady Dimitrescu spoke. You were shocked to say the least. Over the decades you have known the Countess, you have never been in her arms like this. This is what you had dreamt of for so long, wanting to feel true, romantic love from this woman, and now that you are here you felt as if you could cry.

And cry you did. Before you could stop yourself you felt the tears falling down your face and onto the clothes of the woman holding you.

“My beloved what is wrong?” Lady Dimitrescu frantically spoke as she tried to wipe the tears out of your eyes, “What is the matter? Please tell me.”

“It’s truly nothing,” you finally croaked out after minutes of sobbing. You must have looked ridiculous like this. How could you really think that she would love you like you love her. You are nothing compared to her.

“If you are crying then of course something is wrong. Please tell me darling, I hate to see you so sad.”

You hesitated. Was it really alright to tell her the thoughts that have plagued you for generations? You didn’t want things to change between the two of you. Even if you were just treated as a play thing, as long as you could stay with her you would do anything. “I love you. I have loved you for years, and you will never reciprocate how I feel. I am nothing to you other than a toy you can throw away at a moment's notice. But still I wish to stay by your side, even If I am nothing other than that. Don’t let my feelings change our relationship. I only want to stay with you.” The tears came back but you wouldn’t let them fall. You were stronger than that.

You felt her hold on you tighten as she brought you closer to her, lips brushing over your forehead and over your eyes. Her mouth moved around your face, kissing away your tears.

“Beloved who ever said I never felt the same way?”

to those liking this at 2 am: 📸📸📸

[hlurz]

Finlandia

Where's Pennywise?

I like the way they're dressed

It wasn't my favourite of UMK but I like it

Lauri viejo sabroso

It was good

Israel

Love the confidence

And the performance.

He gives a proper show.

Is a requirement for the Israel entry to always scream high?

Serbia

Me da miedito esa mina

KNEEL

I like it but is weird

Should look the lyrics

El curita saltando memuéh

One thing that we all learn those last years was to wash our hands

It's catchy

Please don't tell me I will try to learn the hand's choreography

Azerbaiján

I remember that I didn't like it that much

But nice curls

Is kinda simple but powerful

The expression of the dancer!!

Georgia

Catchy af

Another ones with weird costumes

I asume that a trip induced by drugs would feel similar to this

They're cool

But is kinda repetitive

Malta

Such beautiful eyes

Why bring a piano if you are only using it less that 10 seconds?

Sounds like a teen movie song (but not the really popular ones)

Idk why she remembers me of Efendi

I like her vibe and energy

San Marino

They speak in Italian? That makes sense but I never realized before

The music is so cool

Purple hair my beloved

I fucking love it

The guitars. The fire. The mechanic bull

They're next level

Achille Lauro ft Måneskin when?

Australia

It's really impressive

I really really like it

Again, maybe knowing the lyrics I would like it more

But I love it

Chipre

I didn't like that start at all. Her voice sounds weird

But the performance is cool

It's giving me North African/Middle Eastern vibes but maybe is Cyprus culture?

It was enjoyable

Ireland

I like the song

Irish Dua Lipa

How she can dance and sing so well at the same time? I could never

Bye bye boy

Macedonia del Norte

Water again?

Genderswapped Suiza (Switzerland)

I like how expressive she is

Also nice voice

I was fearing she would start crying

Estonia

HIS VOICE

Not a fan of western cowboy things but this sounds cool

The guy is alone in a huge stage with 0 stuff and doing it all

Fucking love the energy

Everyone say a few words in Italian and I don't remember seeing something like that last year

Rumania

This year all is queerer that I expected. And I definitely not complaining

Why is always someone singing a few words in Spanish?

Not my fave but it's amazing

Polonia

His voice sounds kinda weird but is good

What's Eurovision without high notes?

Love the stormy thing

The dancers getting close to him make me nervous

The whole effect was amazing

Montenegro

Another blue one?

She's beautiful and her voice is really cool

Reminds me to Cirque du Soleil for some reason

Her eyes

Bélgica

Reminds me a Il Volo and Dove Cameron's Boyfriend

Is good but not super memorable

How cool they dance

Suecia

Epic chord instruments aren't always the key

Is a good song but I don't love it

I'm curious if they have to rehearsal every step that much as BC did

República Checa

Where are you now when I miss you?

Her dance

This woman is beautiful

I like this song since the first time I heard it

I love that they seem to have so much fun

España

Just to be clear, it wasn't one of my favorite from Benidorm

But is catchy

And again how is she so capable of singing and dancing like this?

Una reina

I really like it

Alemania

I really like this song

The lyrics, the way he sings, everything

(Also I think it wasn't my favorite from the preselection)

But is so raw and touching and personal

The stage looks so intimate and cozy

Reino Unido

This guy is so lovely

And the costume is amazing

I really really like it

The guitar part is so cool but so short

Francia

I'm weak for folk things

(And also for dudes who look like that)

I love that they reivindicate their culture

I feel like an antient ritual

[cruelsister-moved]

Drop the rec list plsss

ok this is gonna make me sound insane but like

this is a book, but tipping the velvet by sarah waters, she's actually the same 1 who wrote the book the handmaiden is based on but its just like. a lesbian book written by a lesbian and not interfered with like it's just so authentically lesbian. and it has drag kings and socialism and butchfem and like really ahead of its time exploration of like how upper class queer women exploit wc lesbians. the sex scenes are so gross bc like its set in victorian times so it tries to use victorian language like.. what the fuck is a quim ill kill myself. but it has straps and like no scissoring iirc so still a better depiction of lesbian sex than 99% ! (there are I think multiple TV/film adaptions of this idk I haven't watched them bc the butches didn't look butch to me so I didn't care)

yentl ♥️♥️♥️ literally a groundbreaking moment for women in film and even if it wasn't a secret butchfem magnum opus i would still recommend it because its a beautiful film with an amazing soundtrack and it's like a loveletter to prewar eastern european jewry. what baffles me is people always remark on the like gay man + transmasc subtext of this film but no one mentions that theres literally a butchfem lesbian wedding...its basically a choose your own adventure lgbt movie like babs literally put something for everyone in there. like if you want it to be a butchfemme film then it is. if you watch it you're going to be so confused for the first half an hour but just trust me. I feel insane like im frothing just thinking about it

i watched a film recently called drifting flowers which i really enjoyed! it's directed by zero chou who is actually a lesbian ♥️ it's again a really beautiful film and it has various lgbt characters and relationships between them like mlm/wlw solidarity or whatever. and it explores disability and gender a lot. and has like a reallyyyyy gorgeous butch main character. it's definitely really bittersweet but it's just so real and tender and there are some really good butchfemme moments that feel so real, like as much as i enjoy a fantasy fairytale it's also such a rare & special experience to see a relationship like yours on screen like.. i never see that!!

the rest from here down aren't explicitly butchfem but there's a French sitcom/drama idk called dix pour cent (it's on netflix) with like a really good lesbian romance and they lowkey have a butchfemme dynamic even though neither of them are butch. it's not ABOUT the lesbians but i literally love every single character idk it's like succession for normal people it has board meetings and everything. it's about an agency like for actors and the bit is basically every episode there is like a french actor playing themselves so if you're a fan of the isabelles (adjani huppert et al) and idk hot french lesbians in suits pls watch ♥️

i watched a swedish film recently called fucking åmal and all ill say is like. if youre a lesbian who came out during high school this film feels like looking in a mirror like it was literally EERIE to me i was like. they stole my life to make this film what the hell. but again like really sweet realistic characters and it has a sweet cathartic ending too.

and there's a bollywood film called ek ladki ko dekha to aisa laiga that i enjoyed sooo much and its really groundbreaking to have a lesbian lead couple in a bollywood film! its literally so fun and sweet and it has like really cute side characters and explorations of other social issues as well. i think the two leads are just sooo sweet and iirc they weren't allowed to show any kissing so they have gone to such efforts to show the affection and tenderness and chemistry between the couple. the screenplay is by a trans woman and its directed by a woman as well (no idea either of their sexualities but its such a good depiction of a lesbian relationship sooo)

um tldr. the golden rules are not directed by a man, had a lesbian involved w the writing/directing etc, look outside the US, and watch yentl or i will kill myself.

[helenvader]

I posted 1,325 times in 2021

102 posts created (8%)

1223 posts reblogged (92%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 12.0 posts.

I added 1,714 tags in 2021

#shadow and bone - 309 posts

#sab netflix - 230 posts

#general kirigan - 208 posts

#darklina - 191 posts

#aleksander morozova - 188 posts

#the darkling - 174 posts

#ben barnes - 149 posts

#alina starkov - 101 posts

#aleksander morozova | the darkling - 95 posts

#alina x darkling - 69 posts

Longest Tag: 109 characters

#he would have worked better as a villain/anti-villain/anti-hero or idk a combination of all the above i guess

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

There is one thing that bothers me about Shadow and Bone. I am sure that I am not the first one to mention it.

The thing is, the surnames in the series are completely wrong. Starkov is a male form, it should be Starkova. And Morozova is a female form, so Alexander should be Alexander Morozov. The same is true about most of the surnames used.

I am suprised that the author didn't do her research before she started writing about a world that is inspired by Russia. It has to sound funny to all viewers from Eastern Europe. I myself am Slovak, but it's the same in my language.

If would have been acceptable if at least she would keep all the surnames in male form, that would be consistent and not as jarring. And no, it's not nitpicking, it truly sounds ridiculous. :-) It's as if she named Alexander Rosemary and Alina was James. That kind of ridiculous. :-))

It's a pity that the authors of the Netflix show haven't fixed this, but I guess it would have needed the approval of the author and maybe she wouldn't give it. Or maybe they didn't want to change it since this is how fans have known these for years.

Also, the occasional cases "Russian" spoken in the series are totally wrong, too. :-(

Well. I will pretend to myself that Alexander's surname is Morozov, and ignore reality. It's the only solution available to me, in the end.

95 notes • Posted 2021-05-15 17:01:39 GMT

#4

A discussion with @yototothelalafell @kestrafagnor @stromuprisahat and @vesperass-anuna gave me an idea how to perceive the books.

From now on, I will see the trilogy and the duology as propaganda works.

It's the winners who write history, painting themselves in good light and denigrating the side who lost.

The same way Shakespeare depicted Richard III as a monster even though it wasn't true at all. There are countless examples of art used as propaganda.

So. This is it! It finally makes sense!

109 notes • Posted 2021-08-31 18:50:21 GMT

#3

I read a long post about the origin of the "Bin Bons" nickname, and this was my favourite part:

I just can't. 🤣🤣🤣

111 notes • Posted 2021-07-31 08:50:34 GMT

#2

Grishaverse rant. Spoilers for RoW.

The other day, I was reading the ending of Rule of Wolves and realized something that maybe many of you have noticed before, but I hadn’t really thought about it prior to reading the passages I am going to quote.

The „good guys” talking about someone who is going to suffer for eternity.

(I have bolded some parts that made me feel like having a shot of vodka. I even might have had a shot of vodka. And now there might be no vodka left in my household. Because I have might read much more of RoW on that day).

1.

“You know what we did in the mountains.”

 “Yes,” said Alina.

“You saved the world and doomed Ravka’s most deadly enemy to an eternity of torture.”

“Very efficient questing,” said Genya.

Zoya tapped her fingers against the desk...

“I’ve … I’ve been having nightmares, about the monastery, the thorn wood.” When she had touched the ancient tree, she had felt the Darkling’s pain. The dragon hadn’t let her forget it.

2.

​Do you have a fever?” Genya asked.

But Alina’s expression was knowing.

“You’re afraid you’ll become him. You’re afraid you’ll be the avalanche.” Immortal and unstoppable, another tragedy to befall Ravka.

“What are we meant to do?” Genya said. “Free him? Forgive him?”

“Grant him death,” said Zoya.

Genya stood and walked to the mantel.

“Does he deserve it?”

“That’s not my choice to make,” said Zoya. “Not on my own.”

Alina rested her head on the back of the couch.

“Why are we even discussing this? From what I understand, the Darkling knew the bargain he made. He stands at the doorway between worlds. If he dies, the Fold ruptures again and the void comes pouring through.”

3.

Genya made a kind of humming noise. “So, if we decide he deserves the mercy of death, where does that leave us?”

-----------------------------------------------------------

So. What did I realise? That the books ​have no message. That's the problem. They're empty.

The „good guys“ are a bunch if selfish people who think themselves perfect.  They are quick to judge. They never question themselves. They never try to see anything from another perspective. They are unable of mercy (with the exception of Zoya in the above passages). There is nothing moral about them. They do not care for anything but themselves.

And since the story is empty, we keep filling the void with fanfiction on the quest to add some meaning to it all.

I have spoken.

I must add that I do not think that everything in the books is bad. There are some good parts that are actually well written. If they were all bad, we would never bother discussing them or writing fanfiction. It’s the unused potential that is so frustrating. And LB not understanding her own themes. And that tragic lack of a deeper message.

Edited to add: They doomed Sasha to an eternity of torture??? HE VOLUNTEERED.

182 notes • Posted 2021-09-02 18:44:33 GMT

#1

A child who's gone through some serious trauma and has almost been killed by other Grisha children, processes these events by deciding to make a safe place for his people. And will spend hundreds of years to make it true. A very evil person indeed...

200 notes • Posted 2021-06-06 12:16:25 GMT

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